GUESS WHO'S BACK WITH A BRAND NEW ADDITION...

So, its been a while hey? Long story short, my computer is busted and doing these posts from other devices is tedious to say the least! So since I last posted back in OCTOBER (!!) I've been pretty busy...

My beautiful baby boy Ettie arrived on the 20th December, four days after his due date. As I mentioned last time, I was hoping to give birth at the Maidstone Birth Centre...well best laid plans and all that!

 

I went to see my community midwife the day after my due date, expecting to be given a stretch and sweep. I nonchalantly mentioned that the baby's movements may have reduced slightly but that I was confident everything was OK as I was still feeling a fair few. This immediately made Sarah hesitant about doing the sweep and said she wanted me to go down to the hospital and be monitored to check baby was alright. I did my very best to convince her that it really wasn't necessary and short of dropping to my knees I pretty much begged her to still do the sweep, I was so done with being pregnant! She said she would have a listen in and a feel of the bump so I hopped up on the bed, but it soon became apparent that I wasn't having the sweep. The naughty little baby was not even nearly engaged. His head was totally free and in fact it was so high that Sarah couldn't even be sure it was his head and not his bottom she was feeling! So she called the triage unit at the hospital and sent me on my merry way for a presentation scan and to be monitored.

As I had expected, the monitoring revealed that the baby was just fine, but just as I thought I was going to be sent home, the doctor changed her mind due to the fact that the baby had changed position quite dramatically in the short time I had been there, so she diagnosed me with an unstable lie and I was admitted to stay in hospital until he arrived! The danger was that if my waters had broken while he was not in a head down position then there was a risk of cord prolapse, and apparently if that happens then they have about 7 minutes to get the baby out before there is a high risk of the baby being brain damaged or worse. So with all that in mind, the safest place for me to be was in hospital, and I was informed that they would break my waters in a controlled manner while baby was head down.

So I had left the house that afternoon thinking I was just going for a sweep...little did I know I wouldn't be home again for quite some time! The maternity unit was chocka block and unfortunately every time a bed came free on the delivery suite, a woman in active labour came in and stole it from under my nose! It soon became apparent that I was low on the priority list and was therefore going nowhere soon...

I got busy on the birth ball in the hope that labour would start naturally. After nearly three days of hellish boredom, broken up only by little visits from Beau and James, my sister and my mum, I was completely fed up. On that third day I had been getting contractions approximately once an hour but although they were actually quite painful, they weren't getting any more frequent, and I ended up sobbing tears of pure frustration on the shoulder of the lovely midwife Anna who had been looking after me during my stay. She had little comfort to offer me, but it felt good to get it out and so I dried my eyes and slowly waddled back to my room and settled in for yet another night in my cell of eternal pregnancy! The most torturous part of it was that from my room I could see the corridor leading to the delivery suite so every time I saw a lady being taken up to postnatal with her new baby I thought it might be my turn next...but wait as I might, nobody came to collect me to take me round.

At about 6:45pm I started to notice that those few and far between contractions had gotten slightly more frequent, and I started to wonder if something might be happening after all...then out of nowhere I was in agony and by 7:30 the contractions were on top of each other. A midwife came to examine me and confirmed I was 4cm dilated so finally it was my turn! I was taken round to delivery suite and shortly afterwards James arrived. By this point the pain was making me feel totally out of it and I decided that I needed to regain some control and that despite my previous swearing off it, I had an epidural. That was the best decision I could have made, and I soon felt calm and in control. My sister arrived to be my second birthing partner and at 1:20am while watching Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett in concert on the TV,  after about 15 minutes of pushing, Ettienne Bay made his way into the world, sucking his wrinkled little thumb and screaming his tiny baby lungs out. He weighed 8lb 11oz, so a fair bit smaller than Beau who weighed 9lb 7oz at birth. 

He is fair skinned and fair haired, in stark contrast to Beau who had a shock of long dark hair and was olive skinned from the get go. Like Beau was, he's a pretty chilled laid back baby who (touch wood) only really cries when he is hungry or tired. Beau slept through the night pretty much from 8 weeks old and I always knew I was onto a good thing there and it was unlikely I'd get that lucky again...and I was right :o) So Ettie is now 12 weeks old and I'm longing for a solid night's sleep, but apart from that all is good and I'm completely and utterly in love with my blonde haired blue eyed mini me...

peace xx 

THINGS OF LATE

 

Things have been a little crazy around here lately. Things have happened, other things very much haven't happened, you know, the usual shit.

Something awesome which HAS happened is that this scrummy little monster came into the world, fresh from my sister's uterus no less! He arrived about an hour after his due date pulled on it's night clothes and went to bed, so close! I got to go up to the hospital that evening and meet the gorgeous boy. We had snuggles and got the measure of one another while my mum helped my sister have her first post-delivery shower. I told him all about his family and how beautiful he was, he peed all over my leg. I think it was a fair game. Anyway, his name is Kit Robert, he weighed  8lbs 5oz and has a rather large head. He has already pretty much outgrown newborn size clothes which just fills me with fear as I have a drawer packed full of newborn clothes upstairs for my baby and if it's anything like Beau, he's gonna be a biggun'. Beau weighed 9lbs 7oz and I honestly can't remember how long he was in newborn size for...I have a feeling that I'm going to be eBaying a whole load of stuff within the first week of my baby boy being here! And man I've got some cute stuff for him...hello Vertbaudet...where have you been all my life (as a mother)??

Other than falling in love with my new nephew, I've mostly been knitting like an absolute crazy lady...look

 Gloves for mums, hats and cardigans (which don't button up right...look at those out of sync stribes goddamnit) for babies, other hats for toddlers, dresses for other toddlers, snuggle bags and teddy bears for other babies...it's crazy I tell you. I've loved knitting since I first picked up the needles again after Beau was born but just lately it has been all that has kept me sane. If I don't have at least two projects on the go and do at least an hour a day (sometimes 6!!) I think I would go mad. I've taken a couple of commissions from friends (like the pink pinafore dress you see above) and so although my hourly rate would work out to approximately sweet FA, I am making a tiny bit of pocket money from it now and then which is nice. I have a fat stash of yarn which I am trying to work my way through and not allowing myself to buy any more (haha, yeah right) until I have used a good chunk of what I already have. To be fair I have been doing quite well and the stash is veeeeerrrryy sloooooowwllyy going down, ball by ball. Some of the patterns I've made up as I've gone along (like the pinafore dress and most of the hats) so I'm also trying to take as detailed notes as possible as I go so that at some point in the future I can write them up real nice and sell them to the good folk who wanna buy them...no? no takers? You just wait and see...Debbie Bliss I'm coming to get you :o)

The pregnancy is going well, I'll be 31 weeks tomorrow (single digits for the countdown...argh!), still got the SPD pains and they're getting worse which is all kinds of not fun. We went to look around Maidstone Birth Centre and Crowborough Birth Centre last week. Totally fell head over heels in love with Maidstone, really REALLY wish it wasn't a 40, potentially 60 minute drive away :o( I wasn't nearly as keen on Crowborough unfortunately, as thats only a 20 minute drive away. At maidstone you get your own double bed in an en-suite room after you deliver...at Crowborough you get a hospital style bed, potentially in a dorm style room and with a shared bathroom. The two just didn't compare really, and I think I would rather be in Pembury hospital than Crowborough. At least you get your own en suite room at Pembury. I just need to decide whether or not I can face the journey to Maidstone in the throws of labour...and whether I'll even have enough time to get there! I think what I'll probably do is book in at Maidstone, see how I feel on the day it all happens and then if I can't face it then we'll head up the road to Pembury. Watch this space.

Anyway, here's me in my undies at 30 weeks pregnant (I really need to put a photo in that spare frame on the wall)...until next time lovers x

 

25/40 // HOLY HUNGER MONSTER

Twenty five down, fifteen (ish) to go. I'm fairly sure that I wasn't nearly this huge with Beau at this stage? I feel HUMONGOUS! Everybody I have seen in the last week has said something along the lines of "wow, you've just popped all of a sudden, look at your huge bump!" and sadly I feel like I'm really starting to gain weight everywhere, not just in the bump. I gained something around 50lbs (3.5 stone) in total last time, and I desperately DESPERATELY don't want to gain that much again. I haven't weighed myself for a few weeks as I don't own any working scales anymore, but I'm going to have to call in at my mums one morning soon and see just how bad the situation is so far. 

I have a fairly annoying case of SPD now too, which I guess will stick around until the end of the pregnancy. I know people have it much worse than me, so I'm trying not to moan about it too much. I just need to be careful not to aggravate it but having a rowdy very nearly 3 year old in tow most of the time, that's pretty hard. Speaking of which, Beau is just so full on at the moment. We're going through a really difficult phase and I'd be lying if I said it isn't getting to me. He has always been a very passionate child, in both loving and frustrated ways. For example, since before he could even talk, he would often grab your face to give you a kiss and as soon as tantrums started kicking in, they came pretty hard and fast. But just lately the anger seems to have got much worse and more frequent, and I've consulted the health visitor to see what she makes of it. She's coming to see us next week, two days after Beau's third birthday, so I just hope she has some good advice for me.

Pregnancy in general is going well though. One symptom which nobody ever seems to talk about (with good reason) is the oh so disgusting EWCM. Now if you've ever actively tried to get pregnant, you'll probably know exactly what I'm talking about. If you don't, maybe skip this part and consider yourself lucky. Well let me be the one to say it: when you're pregnant, you get EWCM  e v e r y  b l o o d y  d a y. It's truly gross. I thought it would go at some point but here we are, week 25 and it's still here. My sister is nearly 37 weeks and she reliably informs me she still has it by the truck load so I guess it's here to stay till the bitter end, like the SPD. Fun!

 

In other news, here is a rather cute photo of Beau & Ivy at the steam railway last weekend. James & Jim took them there while I drove me & Becs up to London to see our friend Will, his wife Kim and their new baby Arthur. Arthur was wearing the knitted nappy cover and booties I made him and I'm delighted that Kim absolutely loved them. She said her mum was there when they arrived in the post and she was super impressed and remarked that I hadn't dropped a single stitch. I like getting compliments on my knitting :o)

 

On our way back from London we took a little detour to Bluewater just for a tray of Krispy Kreme doughnuts...that is a pregnant woman's prerogative if ever I heard it.  

And just to finish up, here is what bedtime looks like for me at the moment. Beau has taken to sleeping in my bed a lot lately wince James is away during the week. I love having him there but boy does he like to kick the crap out of me. And Kiehl's midnight recovery oil: heaven in a tiny glass bottle. If you haven't tried it, do.

THE END

20/40 // IT'S A...

BOY!!!

Yep, we had our 20 week scan last Friday and nesting in my belly is another beautiful baby boy! They do a whole host of anomaly checks at the 20 week scan and I'm pleased to report that everything looks good as far as they can see. Judging my the measurements of the abdominal circumference vs. the thigh bone length, it's going to be another tall skinny one like it's Daddy! 

As controversial as this might be, I would be lying if I said that there wasn't a slight sense of disappointment upon hearing that it was a boy, because as I said last time, I would really really love to have a daughter at some point, but also there are a load of positives and obviously my main joy is just that I'm lucky enough to be blessed with another healthy baby, regardless of it's sex. I think Beau will really love having a brother to rough and tumble with, and considering I have kept pretty much all of Beau's stuff from birth, having another boy certainly makes this whole affair a bit cheaper! 

And there's no denying that the bond between boys and their mummies is something pretty darn special :o)

Last Monday we had a specialist foetal heart scan at the Evelina Children's hospital in London. Me and my siblings will all have to have this special scan done when we (or our partners in my brothers' case) are having babies. This is because my parents had a baby boy called Robert in between me and my older brother Nick. Robert was born with transposition of the great arteries. In short, this means that the main arteries in his heart were the wrong way around, so the blood which was being pumped around his body was not oxygenated, and he was blue in colour most of the time. He was born on September 11th 1985, and died on 23rd January 1986, just 4 months old. In his short life, he had numerous blood transfusions and two operations in an attempt to correct his condition. Tragically, the second operation proved too much for his little body and he passed away shortly after the surgery. 

When my parents went on to have me and my younger brother, we were at an increased risk of having a congenital heart condition, and therefore, so are the children of me and my siblings. Thankfully, Beau and my niece Ivy are just fine and according to scans, so are mine and my sister's boys which we are currently expecting. 

Since we were in London, we had a little wander around and met my friend Sarah for a picnic. We were going to take Beau to a museum or something in the afternoon but he fell fast asleep on the bus ride back into central London after meeting Sarah so we called it a day and hopped on the train back home. He has been talking about his trip to London ever since, so I reckon that even without the museum, he had a pretty nice day :o)

 Going for a run on the Southbank

 Beau's friend, the squeaky man. "I thought he was a statue but he wasn't he was a man" he keeps telling me :o)

 Chilling on the Tube. "Mummy is this an underground train or an overground train?" "An underground train Beau" "Yes it's an underground train Mummy"

 Picnicking with Sarah in Shoreditch Park

FIN

19/40

19 weeks pregnant! Who'd have thought it? The time really is flying far too quickly and I would very much like it to slow the heck down please. Not that I want it to be, but financially speaking, this may well be the last pregnancy for me and I just want to savour every moment of it.

I know that a lot of women get a really rough time of it in pregnancy, and not to sound like smug sally over here but so far I've had it pretty darn easy (with Beau too) and I love pretty much every second of it. It's such a cliche but it really is the most magical time, and while obviously it comes with it's downsides, the wonderful moments are abundant and if you can't stop and smell the roses and enjoy pregnancy for the wonder than I feel for you, you're really missing out. For example, we're having something of a heat wave here at the moment and the temperature has been in the 20's every day for quite some time. You wouldn't believe the amount of people who have looked at me with that ear to shoulder pity look and said something along the lines of "So how is it being pregnant in this heat? I bet it sucks right?". Maybe it's just because I'm not all that huge yet but I don't think it sucks at all! I'm loving this weather so much. Getting outdoors every day and seeing my usually pale skin turn a delicate shade of "toasted" is brilliant for the serotonin levels and if it gets too hot you just find some shade! Jeez people, I'm pregnant, not terminally ill.

I started feeling the baby move a couple of weeks ago (at 17/40) which is pretty cool. I don't feel it a huge amount yet and it's still pretty faint, but it's reassuring to feel those little flutters. And I won't have to call baby "it" for much longer either! This week we have our 20 week scan so in less than 7 days I will know whether Santa's Little Helper is an Arthur or a Martha. Haha, we're not actually using those names but I do rather like Martha :o) I've made no secret of the fact that I do have a slight preference towards having a girl, purely because this might be my last baby and I would love one of each. But obviously I'll be equally as thrilled with a healthy baby boy. I literally couldn't love Beau any more if I tried, so another little him would be nothing but a blessing. I don't really understand why some people think it's so awful to have a gender preference? I'm not saying I would be disappointed with a boy, I would be over the moon, it's just a preference. It's like choosing pudding from a dessert menu. Yes, I would prefer the banoffee pie, but the sticky toffee pudding would be completely delicious also. I know some people are a little more cut throat about it than that and are actually genuinely disappointed with one sex or the other, but for me it's just not like that. My name is Katie and I would like to have a daughter at some point...so shoot me.

Moving on...a few friends of mine are either pregnant too or having babies at the moment so my knitting needles are working over time and I'm loving it! My friend Emma is due this week and I knitted her a couple of little bits for her baby shower a couple of weeks ago. 

I've made this nappy cover a couple of time before but this time I added the leg bands so that hopefully it covers the actual nappy a little better.Oh and the "E" is her baby's initial, not just her's :o)

And these little sandals turned out far too girly (Emma is having a boy!) but maybe with the right outfit she can "boy them up" a bit?! 

These booties are part of a gift for another friend, Will, whose lovely wife Kim has just given birth to their first baby Arthur. I'm completely in love with them but they were hands down the fiddliest thing I've ever made! I love a knitting challenge though, and teaching myself new methods. The tuck stitch ridges were completely new to me and I had to do a little research to work out exactly what I was supposed to do. I think they were well worth the effort though...what do you think?

I can't wait to knit some gorgeous stuff for my little one once I know the sex! 

xo

14 WEEKS// THOUGHTS ON BREASTFEEDING

So this is a comparison of 7 weeks to 14 weeks...how am I doing?

Sometimes I feel like I really don't look pregnant at all, just a bit fat, and then someone will notice, or even tell me I am huge for my gestation and I question my perception of it! What I really wish is that I had taken more regular photos of when I was pregnant with Beau and then I might have some clue of how I compare this time round. I do have one earlyish bump shot from when I was 17 weeks with Beau and I have to say, I think I'm about the same size now as I was then. I'll compare again when I'm 17 weeks this time!

I haven't really felt nauseous for a week or so now so I think the 2nd trimester is starting to show it's pretty face. Talking of pretty faces though, mine is very much NOT! I am so spotty, it's ridic. I don't think I've ever had this many spots all at once, not even in puberty. Since I had Beau I haven't really worn make-up all that much (out of pure laziness, not because I suddenly became all beautiful and confident) but at the moment I'm having to wear at least tinted moisturiser and some cover-up every time I leave the house. Luckily my lovely friend Lucy gave me some lush Laura Mercier stuff which goes on like a dream and people keep telling me I look tanned and glowing when I wear it. Lord knows what I'm going to do when that tube runs out, it's way out of my budget! Anyway, back to symptoms...

I still have very little energy but that's being extra zapped at the moment by a cold/hayfever combo. I haven't had hayfever for about 5 years or more...why is it that the one year I get it again is the one year I can't take any medication for it due to being pregnant?! Sod's law is what that is, my friend. I'm starting to feel a bit better though and I'm hoping my energy is on it's way back as I want to start doing some light exercise again. I haven't really done it since way before I got pregnant but I'm feeling the need so I'm going to try and give it a go, in a sensibly feeble way of course.

So...breastfeeding. Man I loved breastfeeding. My opinion on it when I first found out I was pregnant with Beau was that I would not even be trying it. The thought of it freaked me out a little and I was perfectly comfortable with my baby being formula fed from the word go.

Oh how our feelings can change. I think my friend Anna was really a huge influence on my change of heart on it. I babysit for her two children and when she first had her daughter I used to go in every weekday evening and help her with the bathtime/bedtime routine. The one main memory I have of those weeks we spent together is of Anna sitting at the top of her stairs breastfeeding P and a look of pure bliss on both their faces. I never thought much about it at the time. Having babies was the furthest thought from my mind, and as much as I have always loved babies, I never paid too much attention to all that stuff.

Cut to a few years later when I was pregnant with Beau. I must have been about 6 months pregnant and still wasn't keen on the idea of breastfeeding, though I was considering it as an option for the first couple of weeks at least. So I'm at Anna's house and she asked me if I was planning on breastfeeding. "Yeah maybe" I said, sheepishly. "I'll probably do it for the first couple of weeks so the baby gets the good stuff. Not sure I could do it much longer than that though" I can't put my finger on what it was that she said, but something in Anna's response really made me think twice about it all. She told me how it was one of the best things she had ever done, and how once you get the hang of it, it is so rewarding in so many ways. She told me how it doesn't immediately come easily to a lot of women, but that if you just ask for help and have a little patience, you will reap the benefits. She told me about the breastfeeding clinic here in Tunbridge Wells and that if she didn't have two very young children to look after that she would have liked to volunteer there as a breastfeeding buddy, to help women learn how to do it properly. I think she just spoke about it with such passion that I couldn't help but take notice of what she was saying. I've never really thanked her, but that conversation was probably one of the best gifts anyone has ever given me.

She was so right about everything, and when my time came, it didn't come easily at first, but I knew that this might be the case so I persevered with it, I went to the breastfeeding clinic and I asked for help. It took a while. I would say hand on heart, that it didn't really click for me for about 6 weeks. For the first 6 weeks, it hurt. It really bloody hurt sometimes, when my nipples were cracked and bleeding, dry and stinging. I thought a couple of times about giving up but I knew in my gut that it would come good if I kept at it, and it did. I know now that he wasn't latching properly which is why it hurt so much for such a long time, but I also think it's just a part of the process. I think of it as somebody learning to play the guitar. It's awkward at first, you don't really know how to hold it comfortably, and your soft skin just isn't used to the sensation. Just as a guitar player needs to toughen up the skin on his/her fingertips to stop it from hurting, a breastfeeding mother needs to toughen up the skin on her nipples. The more guitar you play, the quicker that skin toughens up. The more you breastfeed...you get the idea. It's so tempting to reach for the bottle and give your nipples a rest but I truly believe that just prolongs the process (speaking from experience here). And once that guitar player's skin is tough...the sweet music that comes will be worth every second of pain it took to get there. It's the same for breastfeeding. Once it clicked, and was effortless, it really was the most wonderful and rewarding thing I had ever done. Not to mention free! There is also no washing up, no sterilising, no need to prepare milk for an outing...and on the quiet, it's a really good way of getting the hoards of visitors to go home in those first few weeks! Baby starts crying while in-law X, Y or Z is holding him, just tell them he needs feeding and head upstairs with him. They'll be gone by the time you get back :o)

And in my case, I wasn't back for quite some time! I had a really slow flow of milk, and Beau could take anywhere up to an hour or slightly more to feed each time! A lot of people said this would really put them off and they wouldn't have the patience for it, but seriously it didn't bother me at all. He was my first baby, it wasn't like I had much else to be getting on with. I think it could cause problems if I have the same issue with this next baby, as Beau is unlikely to be that patient about it all, but I'm going to give it everything I've got anyway. 

After about 4 months of feeding Beau, my right boob packed up and stopped working. Every time I tried to feed him on that side he would start to fuss almost immediately and pull away crying. I think my milk dried up on that side unfortunately and I thought that my breastfeeding days were over. I spoke to my health visitor and to my joy, she informed me that it's perfectly possible to feed from one boob only, and so it was. I ended up breastfeeding him until he was just over 9 months old, when he pretty much self weaned. By that point, he was only feeding once per day at bedtime, and he would literally feed for 5 minutes and go to sleep, I think he was just using me as a comforter, he didn't really need it anymore. We had actually introduced one bottle (of either formula or expressed breast milk if I had enough) per day from quite an early stage (less than two weeks old) when I was struggling with the sore nipples and I'll admit it was nice for James to be able to feed him and it meant I was free to go and do something for myself at that feed. I don't think I'd do it that way again though. I'd like to at least try and breastfeed exclusively as I think that this may have interfered with my supply. Who knows, I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens, never say never and all that. I'll do whatever feels right at the time. 

For anyone reading this who is unsure as to whether or not they want to breastfeed, I urge you to try it. And give it a really good go too. It's hard! But help is available from either your local breastfeeding clinic or a good friend/family member who has had a positive experience with it. Don't be afraid to ask for help! Yes we have it drummed into us that it's the most natural, easy thing in the world but it really isn't that way for most people at first. It takes practise and patience. One of the best tips I was given that was a real game changer for me was how I was holding him when he fed. So in the traditional feeding position, I was allowing Beau's arm to rest in between our bellies at first, and it didn't occur to me that this could be a problem. The lady at the clinic told me to always wrap his bottom arm around me under my armpit so we were as close as could be with nothing in between us. It was a total game changer! He latched so much better and it was much more comfortable for both of us. Little things like this can make all the difference to your experience. Oh, and slap the lansinoh on like it's going out of fashion until it stops hurting!

Best wishes to anybody starting out on their breastfeeding journey, feel free to ask me anything you want to know about my experience with it. We're all friends here :o) x

13 WEEKS

Today I'm officially 13 weeks pregnant. In a weird way, I've totally missed out half of week 12 because my due date has been put forward 3 days from what it was originally. I'm getting quite a belly...I say belly and not bump because it is mostly still a squidgy lump of fat, but I'm fairly confident there's a bump somewhere underneath it, as I certainly wasn't quite this distended before hand.

I'm feeling less and less nauseous, though I have had some mean headaches this past week. I'm not sure if it's pregnancy related or not, it could be the super hot humid weather we've been experiencing. It's been positively balmy here of late, so delicious. The only downside is that it has zapped me of any energy I may once have had, and I am now like a sloth in everything I do. I worked today and to say it was a struggle would be putting it mildly. The house I work in is over four floors and going from bottom to top or even ground to top in one go killed me on more than one occasion. Who knew you could die so many times in one day? That's science, people.

I've been listening into santa's little helper every few days with my doppler and we had our 12 week scan last Thursday! It went great, all looks well, and they put my due date forward by an extra day. To be honest I'm fairly sure of my dates so I think it's just going to be another whopper of a baby. Beau was 9lbs 7oz. Lets start placing bets on how big this one is going to be...12lbs anyone?? That might put pay to my dreams of a natural, (mostly) pain relief-free birth huh!
While we were having the scan, once I knew everything was ok, I cheekily asked the sonographer if she believes in the nub theory (if you don't know what that is, look it up) and she said that off the record, yes she does, and she agreed to have  a little look for us. Based on the angle of the dangle right now, she guessed that we're having another boy.  We'll see how accurate that is at the 20 week scan I suppose!

Anyway, that's all from me for now, I'm off to sleepyville xx

HERE COMES THE SUN (DO DO DO DO)

We've been treated to a little sunshine of late, and it's so glorious. I'm not a total sun worshipper by any means (my oh-so-pale skin tone simply wouldn't allow for it) but it certainly cheers me up when the sun comes out to play. The ones above and below are some snaps I took of Beau in my mum's garden on Monday. I had a midwife appointment in the morning then we popped to my mum's afterwards and ended up staying the whole day. I know I'm biased as I am kind of his creator and all that, but my son is one handsome chap, if I do say so myself. I'm so jealous of his skin tone. He goes out in factor 50 and manages to get a tan, what is that about?

And talking of beautiful creatures, have I ever introduced you to my cats? This one with the ginger patches is Mia and the all black errythang fluffball is Indie. Mia is just the sweetest cat you could ever imagine. Since I got pregnant she has taken to sleeping in our room every night, which she rarely did before. She starts off her night curled up on top of my chest of drawers and then about 6am she will hop over to the bed and nestle herself up in front of my belly. Strictly speaking, our bed just isn't big enough for these shenanigans, but I can't bring myself to turf her off. It helps that she is so pretty. I think the ginger patch on her face looks like she is actually an all ginger cat wearing a black mask which has torn and we are seeing her true colour. Maybe I have spent too much time thinking about that, maybe not. I do love her though 

This is Mia's son Indie. I love him too but we don't have quite the same bond as Mia and I do. He is a bit more mischievous, and he bullies Mia for her food unless I am there to supervise and tell him off. He likes to lay stretched out across the landing at the top of the stairs and will have a little swipe at your feet when you step over him if he's feeling in a particularly beastly mood. He caught Beau out this way once and now Beau is too scared to step over him if he's there. Boys eh...

On Wednesday, Beau accidentally poked me in the eye really hard with his thumb as I was putting him in the car and he scratched my cornea. It was pretty horrible in all honesty, though that makes me sound like a total wimp. Mum took me to the minor injuries unit where they squirted some dye in my eye and gave me some drops. They said to wear sunglasses for a few days which made me look like a total douche bag (everyone who wears sunglasses indoors looks like a total douche bag, but sometimes it is medically necessary unfortunately) but luckily by the next day, the hyper sensitivity had decreased and I was able to ditch the shades. 

Beau has developed a real conscience about hurting people, and he got a bit upset when he realised what he had done. It was obviously a complete accident but I do appreciate that he gets extra snuggly by way of an apology :o) Cuddling up next to him as he falls asleep is one of my favourite things to do. No matter how much of a horror they may have been during the day, they always turn into angels when they sleep.

We had a play date at the park followed by lunch at Daily Bread in Rusthall with Emma and Coby on Friday. The kids were having a great time until Ivy spent too long on this little bike roundabout thing and made herself all dizzy! I shouldn't laugh but it was kind of hilarious...she didn't want to get off when the boys did and when she finally decided that she'd had enough, I lifted her off and asked her if she was dizzy, "No" she replied and ran off...5 seconds later she stumbled about like a drunk person for a little while before tumbling to the ground in a heap. I think she learnt her lesson about spending too long going round and round in circles then trying to run immediately :o)

I'm officially 10 weeks pregnant this week (the photo below is last week's) and so far, so good. I was getting a bit worried that all was not well as I stupidly took a pregnancy test (for artistic purposes would you believe) which came up with quite a faint line and I started panicking. I was strongly considering paying £60 for a private scan until my midwife pointed out to me that it would only bring me comfort for a short period of time, and given that I have no real reason to be concerned (no bleeding, no serious cramps, still getting on and off nausea, still got enormous ouchy boobs etc) it was a lot of money for what could be just a temporary comfort. Also, rather morbidly, I could have a scan, everything could be fine, and 5 minutes after I walk out the door it could all go wrong. So I decided to tough it out. I got my 12 week scan date through for 2 weeks time so that is something to look forward to. 

When I was pregnant with Beau I bought an angelsounds fetal doppler, against the advice of every medical professional ever. I managed to find Beau's heartbeat at 9 weeks 4 days. It wasn't an artery, it wasn't the placenta, it was a heartbeat, trust me. I got it out again this time round and I've been trying to find the heartbeat for the last couple of weeks, with no joy. I guess this has contributed to my concerns over everything being ok. Well last night I had a breakthrough after watching a youtube video on how to find it. I layed down in complete silence once Beau had gone to bed and started searching...after only a couple of minutes, there it was! Faint, which is to be expected at only 10 weeks and 1 day, but it was definitely there and definitely a heartbeat, YAY!! Fingers crossed everything will continue to go well, I'll keep you posted :o)

Love from me and my squidgy belly x

TEMPTING FATE?

Is this tempting fate?? Maybe so. But I would only post here if it doesn't work out anyway, so why not share a little good news for a change eh?

So this little mess of black and grey was taken this morning. I am officially pregnant, and this time, there's actually a baby there. You see that blob? That's hopefully going to grow into a squidgy faced little bundle of sleepless nights and sore nipples, all going well :o)

It doesn't have two heads or a tail, don't worry. That second roundish looking thing on the right is the yolk sack, which is giving the little plum it's nutrition until the placenta takes over in a couple of weeks time. According to today's measurements I am 8 weeks 1 day, which is pretty bang on what I thought I would be so that's good news. That makes me due on 18th December...Christmas in hospital anyone?! I think there's something extra sweet about having a Christmas time baby. Yes, I know that it will probably get pissed off with people buying it one present for both Christmas and it's birthday but I solemnly swear that as it's mother, I will never do this :o) There, you have my word. It's James' birthday on the 21st December and my younger brother's on the 23rd so I wonder where this little squish will end up fitting into the equation. Beau was 5 days late and you can read more about that in my birth story post if you so wish. I warn you though, it's not for the faint hearted and is pretty long winded, so if you're going to brave it, stick the kettle on and grab yourself a slice of cake before you start :o)

I found out I was pregnant on the 10th April so I've known for what feels like an age already. This early scan today definitely helped to break it up but I have no doubt that it's going to drag until the 12 week scan, as it does for everybody. I am determined to document it more closely than I did with Beau's though because I really regretted not making more notes about what went on and when last time. So far, I have had mild nausea on and off since about 6 weeks. There is no particular pattern to it, and it hasn't been debilitating yet, just annoying. Some days I'll wake up feeling pretty darned rotten, and feel mildly rotten most of the day, some days it doesn't kick in until about 4 o clock in the afternoon and some days I feel just fine, today being a good day. I haven't actually been sick at all yet, though I have felt like I'm pretty close on occasions. I seem to remember it was pretty much the same with Beau, so maybe that's a sign of another boy..or maybe not. I'll make no secret of the fact that I would love love love to have a girl this time round, but it goes without saying that I would also be over the moon with another boy. Beau is hands down my favourite human being ever, so how could I possibly be disappointed with another one like him? We didn't find out the sex with Beau but we will do this time. I'll let you know in 12 weeks time! The other symptom I've had is boobs which are growing at a rate of knots, and are rather uncomfortable. Again, I had this with Beau. My poor boobs really took the brunt of it last time, and were huge and covered in bright red stretch marks before I was even 12 weeks. I remember going to the doctors as I had no idea that they could be stretch marks at that stage, and she looked at me with a look of pure sympathy as if to say "sorry love, they're fucked". I've forgiven them though, the stretch marks have faded an awful lot, and while my girls are never going to win prizes for the prettiest pair these days, they could be a lot worse, and we had a few good years before pregnancy wreaked her vengeance on them :o) Can you believe that I actually used to worry that they were "too pert"? Yes that's right, I was mental. Little did I know! 

Anyway, for now I guess that's all. I may import a post I wrote on a secret pregnancy blog I started writing last summer...we'll see.

Thanks for reading xo