THIS RAINY DAY IS TEMPORARY

This post is unlikely to be of much interest to anyone, just as a warning. It's just that I had this really vivid dream last night and I wanted to write it down before I forget any more of it. 

So at the start of my dream, I was on holiday with a large group of people, including most of my family. I had done something horrible to two girls I know, but what it was that I did has escaped my memory already. Anyway, whatever it was caused the entire group of people I was on holiday with to hate me. We were all staying in one big, overcrowded house  and I had to creep in late at night and find a space to sleep where nobody would notice me.

In the latter part of my dream, I was at a friend's BBQ and I was crying silently the whole time. Men I have known kept coming to sit with me and ask me if I was ok but then somebody else would come and interrupt before I got a chance to tell them what was wrong. Beau was there and at one point I think James came to tell me that Beau had run off so I had to chase after him and that was the only time I wasn't crying. It was a really really weird, sad dream. I woke up when it ended and couldn't get back to sleep for a while as it kept replaying in my head.

I looked up the meaning of being depressed in dreams and it said it's basically a reflection of how you're feeling in real life...sounds about right. I mean, I'm not crying uncontrollable in public depressed, but I'm certainly not in a great place. I saw a counsellor last week and it was a total waste of time and money. I didn't click with her at all and didn't feel comfortable. I don't mean to sound like the next UKIP leader here but she was Eastern European and I couldn't understand some of what she said, so I'm imagining she couldn't understand everything I said either. And I know that counselling is mostly about me doing the talking, but there were times when I had clearly finished what I was saying and she just stared at me in awkward silence. I'm going to call today and say I don't want to see her again. Anyone know of a good counsellor in the Tunbridge Wells area??

xo